3. Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".
10. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
11. Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the “people you may know” feature on facebook people that I do know, but i deliberately choose not to be friends with?
12. Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn’t
work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or faq’s. We just figured it out. Today’s kids are soft.
13. There is a great need for sarcasm font.
14. Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and
suddenly realize I had no idea what was going on when I first saw it.
15. I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually
becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I’ll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone’s laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I’m still the only one who really, really gets it.
17. How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
18. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
20. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to
finish a text.
22. Was learning cursive really necessary?
23. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and
hunger.
26. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod
and smile because you still didn’t hear what they said?
28. Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using ‘as in’
examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot.
Today I had to spell my boss’s last name to an attorney and said “Yes that’s G as in…(10 second lapse)..ummm…Goonies”
30. While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and
instinctively swerved to avoid it…thanks Mario Kart.
31. MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I
know how to get out of my neighborhood.
33. I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the
shower first and THEN turn on the water.
35. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.
37. Whenever I’m Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their
profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don’t mind if I do!
38. If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would
probably just be completely invisible.
39. Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go
around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? I know my name, I know where I’m from, this shouldn’t be a problem….
40. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work
when you’ve made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
41. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don’t
want to have to restart my collection.
43. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me
if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
45. I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching
TV. There’s so much pressure. ‘I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren’t watching this. It’s only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?’
46. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?
Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What’d you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?
48. I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it’s on shuffle,
then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my itunes.
49. Why is a school zone 15 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising
speed for pedophiles…
50. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers,
but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
52. It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.
53. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to
answer when they call.
56. The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw
they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There’s nothing like being made to feel fat before dinner.
59. It really makes me mad when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the
link takes me to a video instead of text.
60. I wonder if cops ever get ticked off at the fact that everyone they
drive behind obeys the speed limit.
4 comments:
I am definitely guilty of #9. Only, I don't pretend I didn't goof up anymore. I just admit that I'm an idiot and turn around. :)
So funny Jaime!
This actually made me laugh out loud. =) Hilarious!
Great post! Hilarious!
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