*Update on my "non" resolutions:*
As of today, I am a proud member of Lake Vue fitness club!!
So that's one resolution down, about a million to go. I keep reminding myself that all any big change is, is 20453 baby steps!
=)
I have been doing some deep thinking lately, and I haven't come to any sort of conclusion in my mind on what i've been thinking about, and that irks me. I like things to be settled, at peace. Unanswered questions have never been something I enjoy. I know it's in these times of uncertainty and wondering where our faith grows, but it's such an awkward stage to be in. I like to call it Christian limbo.
I've realized that most things are gray, not black and white. I don't get how God loves us all, as we're all in completely different stages of life. We all think so differently and believe such different things. On the surface level, i've often thought (okay, not often, but often these past few days) that it might be easier to say forget the whole thing, and move to an island where I can be secluded and love God on my own. Then God gently reminded me that He didn't put any of us here on earth to be secluded, and that my heart will break over and over again throughout my lifetime.
Jaci Velazquez sings a song about this concept, I think her lyrics say what i'm trying to say, only more poetically and lyrically (thus them being a song):
As of today, I am a proud member of Lake Vue fitness club!!
So that's one resolution down, about a million to go. I keep reminding myself that all any big change is, is 20453 baby steps!
=)
I have been doing some deep thinking lately, and I haven't come to any sort of conclusion in my mind on what i've been thinking about, and that irks me. I like things to be settled, at peace. Unanswered questions have never been something I enjoy. I know it's in these times of uncertainty and wondering where our faith grows, but it's such an awkward stage to be in. I like to call it Christian limbo.
I've realized that most things are gray, not black and white. I don't get how God loves us all, as we're all in completely different stages of life. We all think so differently and believe such different things. On the surface level, i've often thought (okay, not often, but often these past few days) that it might be easier to say forget the whole thing, and move to an island where I can be secluded and love God on my own. Then God gently reminded me that He didn't put any of us here on earth to be secluded, and that my heart will break over and over again throughout my lifetime.
Jaci Velazquez sings a song about this concept, I think her lyrics say what i'm trying to say, only more poetically and lyrically (thus them being a song):
You are the One, there's no one else
Who lifts me up and gives me water from the well
But there's a hole that seems to drain it all away
And once again I'm left in fear and doubt
When all my strength is crying out
So here I am again
Willing to be opened up and broken
Like a flower in the rain
Tell me what am I to do
To die and then be raised
To reach beyond the pain
like a flower in the rain
The evil wind it blows a storm to rock my world
Just when I think I'm safe and warm
I'm led astray far too easily
It's always hard for me to say I'm wrong
Until I know I can't go on
Lord, You have searched me
And know when I sleep and when I rise
You're familiar with all my ways
Even the darkness will shine like the day
When you look into my heart
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